How To Overcome Fear Of Public Speaking you#Best Education Page #Online Earning

I'm very shy underneath and I'm very and

something that I don't have confidence

when I interact with people especially

in a group especially and so to me that

you know to be it's like you know now

I'll see you know bunch of vloggers you

know on Facebook and it's like she's

having

- this yeah this is something that you

know that you kno
w maybe you know even

though I wanted to it maybe I don't have

the talented - and maybe you know that

to me it's just all about being scared

shitless

yeah and so what is it that you want to

do is it more public speaking or is it

doing video or blogging or social media

like what specifically is it that scares

you the most definitely the inner

conflict right you have this desire but

then there's the conflict it's like I

want to make a million bucks but I want

to sleep till noon right or I want to be

super successful but I don't want any

failure

all right that's a conflict right

because you need one to have you know

the other you know you're talking to

someone that is been a hundred times

worse off in terms of the fear the

anxiety the shyness someone you know I

was I was like I said before I was the

quietest person in the room I was so

terrified of that and the way that I

overcame it was by facing it and really

that's the only solution to it because

you can read all the books and do all

the affirmations you want and you know

NLP and therapy and all those things

helped but as the saying goes you got to

feel the fear and do it anyways and one

thing could be helpful is taking baby

steps you know Isis I used to coach

people and I used to coach them to be

able to overcome their fears and calm

and develop confidence to actually go

and approach a woman and that's a huge

fear for for men right men have so much

fear to be able to just go and there's a

woman across the room to actually go

over and have a conversation you know

rejection and all these different things

that come up in their mind and the way

that we would do that we see do you

actually three-day boot camps where we'd

actually it was 1,500 bucks to attend

and we had a group similar size but we

would actually go out and we'd actually

push them and say hey I want you to go

up and and say hi to that person or go

up and start a conversation and the way

that we did it was actually a few things

one is taking baby steps okay so we

didn't create that expectation that you

had to go up and get a date and a phone

number and all that sort of stuff is

relationship and get married right that

it's just way overwhelming all you got

to do is just go up and wish them you

know we called it adding value right so

if you just go up and give a compliment

and walk away right so if I were to walk

up hey you know what I just want to come

up and wish you a great day and just

walk away right or maybe even just going

up if you don't want to go less than

that just asking for the time asking for

directions right just to get comfortable

just facing that a little bit of

discomfort that you have and get

comfortable with that once you got

comfortable with that you take it up a

little bit step further and then you'd

maybe turn that into a bit of a

conversation and say hey I just want it

tell you that you look great today what

are you up to right transition into

conversation by asking an open-ended

question right say oh hey what are you

up to today awesome

have a great walk away so again no very

low expectations that you have just to

build it up by the end of the week in

this three-day event we had guys getting

phone numbers and dates and and you know

just just totally change their life

in so many ways of what you know just

having the confidence in themselves to

do it and I've seen that happen with

thousands of people now and it's really

the same thing with what you're trying

to accomplish and so if it's public

speaking you know things that I've done

with that and it can also help for video

and because these things all translate

to one another

maybe it's joining Toastmasters right

and showing up to Toastmasters once a

week and you're in a safe supportive

environment there's no judgment there's

no rejection there's none of that stuff

it's a place that you can go and get

comfortable speaking in front of a top

in front of a group and I started doing

this when I was 18 and I was terrified

to do it I remember the when you go to

Toastmasters you have to introduce

yourself when you're a guest and I would

just get so nervous just to be able to

do that and then they had something that

scared me like crazy which was called

Table Topics right this is where you get

up there and they would say Kimmy I want

you to talk about a tree right you have

to talk about it for two minutes in

front of an audience and you know

they're all looking at you whatnot but

it's just a way to improvise on your

feet so I did that and I gained

confidence from

all these little baby steps I became a

little bit more confident as time went

on and then before you know it I could

give presentation and speeches I felt

more comfortable with myself I remember

at one point I did something I looked at

Vancouver School Board they would put on

these little workshops in the evening

time that anyone could put on one of

them was called acting for the terrified

so the specifically acting classes for

those that are terrified and really shy

so I signed up for like three months of

classes in advance I only made it into

the first three and then after I was

just I had so much anxiety to go back

but those three classes I went to really

made an impact on me because I had to

you know be in front of a group and they

would tell you to act out this thing and

you'd have to embarrass yourself or kind

of act silly and take on different roles

and everything and is uncomfortable but

I gained confidence from it I even did

improv classes too and that all very

challenging for me as well and the same

thing goes with video starting off small

you know maybe it's starting up blogging

at first maybe a starting off as a

podcast you know maybe then it's you

know doing little Facebook video or

snapchat right but it gets deleted

within 24 hours and I think you just

build your confidence the more that you

do it and then what happens is you start

to get positive reinforcement from that

and you get people that respond in a

positive way you do the Toastmasters or

that you know and people have a great

job they reward you to encourage you for

that and you say wow great you know I'm

doing really well you know every time

someone would approach someone we'd be

the first ones to give them a high five

and say hey great job and we'd always

celebrate every outcome good or bad even

you know and often times it's never as

bad as you think I remember one time I

was at the nightclub with a client that

I was coaching many years ago and I was

trying to get him to just get out of his

comfort zone and actually talk to people

and everything and he says stuff and I

can I was so afraid of rejection I said

great then we've got to get you rejected

our goal tonight it's getting rejected

ten times because the only way you're

gonna overcome it is by facing the

rejection right it's by actually you

getting rejected and actually realizing

that you're still alive nothing bad

happened

you're gonna wake up tomorrow they're

gonna have forgotten about you they're

gonna forget about you 10 seconds later

right and just realize that it's not as

big deal and so I had this guy now

actually sit here listen let's just try

to get rejected tonight okay so I'd go

up to a group of girls and hey guys and

act really weird and strange and they'd

be like hey how's it going and I'm like

damn trying to get rejected here I said

then go on to another group and then I'd

be like hi my name's Stefan like they

couldn't hear me and they're like oh hi

and they liked it I'm like damn it's

really really hard to get rejected you

know and then you know he did this and

basically realize that it's it's really

hard to and oftentimes if someone

responds in a negative way it's got

nothing to do with you it's just them

being in a bad state or a bad mood right

and it's really got nothing to do with

you so really I I guess what I'm trying

to say is that it's really just a

process of taking those steps and if

you're if you're willing to make a big

step you'll accelerate the process of

overcoming it but maybe sometimes it

takes baby steps I've just you know you

know okay this is what scares me and

doing it and you know it's okay because

this is something outside your comfort

zone right and it's an opportunity for

you to grow the reason why I do these

events and I'm actually why I'm doing

these life mastery transformation

seminars and everything it's not really

for the money or anything oh there's

many other things I can do my business

that could make me more money it's more

passive and what not to I do it because

it makes me a bit uncomfortable so for

me public speaking is something that

makes me a little bit uncomfortable

especially putting on bigger events and

often I found that before big events

that I would do I'd be okay it'd be like

the week before I'd get a little bit you

know anxiety around it but I looked at

it as a positive like this is good

because if you don't feel that if you

don't feel the stress or anxiety you're

not growing so I was like great this

means that I'm growing I'm becoming more

I'm stepping into who I'm really made to

be I'm stepping into my power I'm owning

myself and then what I found is that

when I speak the best of me shows up and

I just have trip I have faith and I just

trust the process and trust that

everything always works out and it

always does

I've got a friend who's a public speaker

and I remember one time in Palm Springs

he was going up to speak and from a

thousand people and I said great

are you ready you know what you're gonna

say he said Stefan I've got no idea what

I'm gonna say I'm like how can you just

go up there and he's like you know I

just trust I have faith that if it

everything works out it was meant to and

if it doesn't that was meant to happen

as well so he releases the attachment of

the control of what other people think

or things going perfect or things going

a certain way and he just trusts that

everything will just flow through and

it's actually a lot easier online

because you can delete and edit and all

that stuff anyways right so it's like

you can you can really manipulate your

videos if you wanted to and awesome

yeah he's an incredible speed my friend

we'd actually we let her yeah he speaks

it held conferences too so I would say

you know set some challenges for

yourself and set some challenges for

yourself and the group can help you with

that and little things celebrate it like

crazy reward yourself for it yeah yeah

and you know it just as time goes on you

just become more more confident more

comfortable with yourself I look at some

of these top speakers and people out

there too I'm giving it and I'm just

blown away how how comfortable and

confident they are with that I'm giving

a speech at the end of this month that

the amazing selling machine event in

front of over a thousand people and I've

done that once before I was on a panel

you know but now I've got to give it

I've never spoken I've just at one time

but a thousand two thousand people yeah

I got some anxiety around that but I'm

looking forward to it because that means

I'm gonna grow I purposely put myself in

situations like that because I know

that's what's necessary for you to grow

and to be happy and to live a great life

and achieve what you want

you

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