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Friday, May 8, 2020

How To Overcome Fear Of Public Speaking you#Best Education Page #Online Earning

How To Overcome Fear Of Public Speaking


I'm very shy underneath and I'm very and
something that I don't have confidence
when I interact with people especially
in a group especially and so to me that
you know to be it's like you know now
I'll see you know bunch of vloggers you
know on Facebook and it's like she's
having
- this yeah this is something that you
know that you kno
w maybe you know even
though I wanted to it maybe I don't have
the talented - and maybe you know that
to me it's just all about being scared
shitless
yeah and so what is it that you want to
do is it more public speaking or is it
doing video or blogging or social media
like what specifically is it that scares
you the most definitely the inner
conflict right you have this desire but
then there's the conflict it's like I
want to make a million bucks but I want
to sleep till noon right or I want to be
super successful but I don't want any
failure
all right that's a conflict right
because you need one to have you know
the other you know you're talking to
someone that is been a hundred times
worse off in terms of the fear the
anxiety the shyness someone you know I
was I was like I said before I was the
quietest person in the room I was so
terrified of that and the way that I
overcame it was by facing it and really
that's the only solution to it because
you can read all the books and do all
the affirmations you want and you know
NLP and therapy and all those things
helped but as the saying goes you got to
feel the fear and do it anyways and one
thing could be helpful is taking baby
steps you know Isis I used to coach
people and I used to coach them to be
able to overcome their fears and calm
and develop confidence to actually go
and approach a woman and that's a huge
fear for for men right men have so much
fear to be able to just go and there's a
woman across the room to actually go
over and have a conversation you know
rejection and all these different things
that come up in their mind and the way
that we would do that we see do you
actually three-day boot camps where we'd
actually it was 1,500 bucks to attend
and we had a group similar size but we
would actually go out and we'd actually
push them and say hey I want you to go
up and and say hi to that person or go
up and start a conversation and the way
that we did it was actually a few things
one is taking baby steps okay so we
didn't create that expectation that you
had to go up and get a date and a phone
number and all that sort of stuff is
relationship and get married right that
it's just way overwhelming all you got
to do is just go up and wish them you
know we called it adding value right so
if you just go up and give a compliment
and walk away right so if I were to walk
up hey you know what I just want to come
up and wish you a great day and just
walk away right or maybe even just going
up if you don't want to go less than
that just asking for the time asking for
directions right just to get comfortable
just facing that a little bit of
discomfort that you have and get
comfortable with that once you got
comfortable with that you take it up a
little bit step further and then you'd
maybe turn that into a bit of a
conversation and say hey I just want it
tell you that you look great today what
are you up to right transition into
conversation by asking an open-ended
question right say oh hey what are you
up to today awesome
have a great walk away so again no very
low expectations that you have just to
build it up by the end of the week in
this three-day event we had guys getting
phone numbers and dates and and you know
just just totally change their life
in so many ways of what you know just
having the confidence in themselves to
do it and I've seen that happen with
thousands of people now and it's really
the same thing with what you're trying
to accomplish and so if it's public
speaking you know things that I've done
with that and it can also help for video
and because these things all translate
to one another
maybe it's joining Toastmasters right
and showing up to Toastmasters once a
week and you're in a safe supportive
environment there's no judgment there's
no rejection there's none of that stuff
it's a place that you can go and get
comfortable speaking in front of a top
in front of a group and I started doing
this when I was 18 and I was terrified
to do it I remember the when you go to
Toastmasters you have to introduce
yourself when you're a guest and I would
just get so nervous just to be able to
do that and then they had something that
scared me like crazy which was called
Table Topics right this is where you get
up there and they would say Kimmy I want
you to talk about a tree right you have
to talk about it for two minutes in
front of an audience and you know
they're all looking at you whatnot but
it's just a way to improvise on your
feet so I did that and I gained
confidence from
all these little baby steps I became a
little bit more confident as time went
on and then before you know it I could
give presentation and speeches I felt
more comfortable with myself I remember
at one point I did something I looked at
Vancouver School Board they would put on
these little workshops in the evening
time that anyone could put on one of
them was called acting for the terrified
so the specifically acting classes for
those that are terrified and really shy
so I signed up for like three months of
classes in advance I only made it into
the first three and then after I was
just I had so much anxiety to go back
but those three classes I went to really
made an impact on me because I had to
you know be in front of a group and they
would tell you to act out this thing and
you'd have to embarrass yourself or kind
of act silly and take on different roles
and everything and is uncomfortable but
I gained confidence from it I even did
improv classes too and that all very
challenging for me as well and the same
thing goes with video starting off small
you know maybe it's starting up blogging
at first maybe a starting off as a
podcast you know maybe then it's you
know doing little Facebook video or
snapchat right but it gets deleted
within 24 hours and I think you just
build your confidence the more that you
do it and then what happens is you start
to get positive reinforcement from that
and you get people that respond in a
positive way you do the Toastmasters or
that you know and people have a great
job they reward you to encourage you for
that and you say wow great you know I'm
doing really well you know every time
someone would approach someone we'd be
the first ones to give them a high five
and say hey great job and we'd always
celebrate every outcome good or bad even
you know and often times it's never as
bad as you think I remember one time I
was at the nightclub with a client that
I was coaching many years ago and I was
trying to get him to just get out of his
comfort zone and actually talk to people
and everything and he says stuff and I
can I was so afraid of rejection I said
great then we've got to get you rejected
our goal tonight it's getting rejected
ten times because the only way you're
gonna overcome it is by facing the
rejection right it's by actually you
getting rejected and actually realizing
that you're still alive nothing bad
happened
you're gonna wake up tomorrow they're
gonna have forgotten about you they're
gonna forget about you 10 seconds later
right and just realize that it's not as
big deal and so I had this guy now
actually sit here listen let's just try
to get rejected tonight okay so I'd go
up to a group of girls and hey guys and
act really weird and strange and they'd
be like hey how's it going and I'm like
damn trying to get rejected here I said
then go on to another group and then I'd
be like hi my name's Stefan like they
couldn't hear me and they're like oh hi
and they liked it I'm like damn it's
really really hard to get rejected you
know and then you know he did this and
basically realize that it's it's really
hard to and oftentimes if someone
responds in a negative way it's got
nothing to do with you it's just them
being in a bad state or a bad mood right
and it's really got nothing to do with
you so really I I guess what I'm trying
to say is that it's really just a
process of taking those steps and if
you're if you're willing to make a big
step you'll accelerate the process of
overcoming it but maybe sometimes it
takes baby steps I've just you know you
know okay this is what scares me and
doing it and you know it's okay because
this is something outside your comfort
zone right and it's an opportunity for
you to grow the reason why I do these
events and I'm actually why I'm doing
these life mastery transformation
seminars and everything it's not really
for the money or anything oh there's
many other things I can do my business
that could make me more money it's more
passive and what not to I do it because
it makes me a bit uncomfortable so for
me public speaking is something that
makes me a little bit uncomfortable
especially putting on bigger events and
often I found that before big events
that I would do I'd be okay it'd be like
the week before I'd get a little bit you
know anxiety around it but I looked at
it as a positive like this is good
because if you don't feel that if you
don't feel the stress or anxiety you're
not growing so I was like great this
means that I'm growing I'm becoming more
I'm stepping into who I'm really made to
be I'm stepping into my power I'm owning
myself and then what I found is that
when I speak the best of me shows up and
I just have trip I have faith and I just
trust the process and trust that
everything always works out and it
always does
I've got a friend who's a public speaker
and I remember one time in Palm Springs
he was going up to speak and from a
thousand people and I said great
are you ready you know what you're gonna
say he said Stefan I've got no idea what
I'm gonna say I'm like how can you just
go up there and he's like you know I
just trust I have faith that if it
everything works out it was meant to and
if it doesn't that was meant to happen
as well so he releases the attachment of
the control of what other people think
or things going perfect or things going
a certain way and he just trusts that
everything will just flow through and
it's actually a lot easier online
because you can delete and edit and all
that stuff anyways right so it's like
you can you can really manipulate your
videos if you wanted to and awesome
yeah he's an incredible speed my friend
we'd actually we let her yeah he speaks
it held conferences too so I would say
you know set some challenges for
yourself and set some challenges for
yourself and the group can help you with
that and little things celebrate it like
crazy reward yourself for it yeah yeah
and you know it just as time goes on you
just become more more confident more
comfortable with yourself I look at some
of these top speakers and people out
there too I'm giving it and I'm just
blown away how how comfortable and
confident they are with that I'm giving
a speech at the end of this month that
the amazing selling machine event in
front of over a thousand people and I've
done that once before I was on a panel
you know but now I've got to give it
I've never spoken I've just at one time
but a thousand two thousand people yeah
I got some anxiety around that but I'm
looking forward to it because that means
I'm gonna grow I purposely put myself in
situations like that because I know
that's what's necessary for you to grow
and to be happy and to live a great life
and achieve what you want
you
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