How To Free Yourself From Emotional Pain & Suffering #Best Education Page #Online Earning

hey what's up life masters this is

Stefan James from project life mastery

and today I want to talk to you about

how to free yourself from emotional pain

and suffering now I think we've all had

moments from the past that have been

painful whether it's with their parents

family members loved ones in a

relationship maybe someone bullying you

when you're young in school to your

parents going through a divorce or maybe

a level of abuse or maybe losing your

job maybe someone breaking up with you

or maybe something recently that might

have happened someone said or did

something and you're emotionally charged

around it you have the anger resentment

fear frustration pain turmoil sadness

depression insecurity that you haven't

resolved or become complete with and I

think part of the challenge is that not

unless we resolve a lot of these things

from the past then sure enough what

happens for a lot of people as we take

the past the baggage of that with us

today in the present and then in the

future and that's why for a lot of

people their future looks more of what

it's been in the past and they never

become free from that because they don't

go back to become complete and fully

resolved what's been going on and for a

lot of us I think we're not even aware a

lot of it's subconscious a lot of that

we suppress because it doesn't feel good

to live with the pain of those events

that have occurred it's a lot easier

just to kind of throw it under the rug

and forget about it and suppress it and

what I want to share with you today is a

different perspective a different

possibility of a way of looking at

things in your life now just like with

anything I share with you guys I don't

want you to believe blindly what I have

to say I more want to invite you just to

try it on just like if you go to the

store and you go to the rack and you

take out a suit and you try it on you

don't have to buy the suit if you like

it you can buy it you can take it on and

maybe you can empower you in your life

but if not you can just take off the

suit and put it back on the rack and

that's kind of more what I you know with

what how at least I look at what I share

with you guys is something that you can

try on and if it benefits you great I

know it's benefited me this viewpoint in

my life and I think it might be able to

free you up a lot in your life as well

so let me explain we all have certain

Vince that are happening in our lives or

things that happen to us things in the

past that happened someone said

something or did something or an event

that occurred in our past now what

happened in our past we can't change

right we don't have control over that we

can't go back and change what happened

but most often what happens when an

event occurs in our life we create a

meaning or a story or an interpretation

of that event of what happened and the

interpretation the story and the meaning

that we create is where the emotion lies

it's where the anger lies the resentment

the fear the pain the insecurities the

sadness or depression all of those

emotions is most often not to do with

the event but it's the meaning and the

story that we created because nothing in

life has any meaning but the meaning

that we give it our brains our minds our

meaning making machines that's always

trying to create a meaning out of the

different events that occurs in our life

and either that meaning is disempowering

okay where something happens and we

create a disempowering meaning from that

and we carry that with us and we don't

resolve it or we can create a meaning

that is empowering but we have that

choice we actually can choose the

meanings that we create in our lives now

there are some events that occurred in

our past when you're five years old and

when you're five years old

you created an interpretation and the

meaning of an out of an event as a

five-year-old that you continue to live

with to this day and a lot of these

things are totally illogical they're

totally crazy it's the meaning

interpretation of a young kid and yet

sure enough we you know we haven't

healed that and we're still living that

pain and that wound that we have when

were five years old maybe it's an event

that might have happened in your life

where your dad left you they left the

family and you made that mean that your

dad doesn't love you and you mean that

mean that if your dad doesn't love you

then it must mean that you're not good

enough and if you're not good enough

then that's something that you then

carry with you into your present and

your

future now every relationship that you

get into with a man you always have that

fear that they're going to abandon you

because you haven't become complete with

and resolve that pain that trauma of

what you experienced when you're a kid

and so sure enough what happens is you

sabotage relationships you can get close

to someone but you never get too close

you have a wall because you don't want

to get hurt again because of what

happened to you in your past and this

shows up with us in so many crazy ways

you know shows up with us when we failed

when you were a kid you know a lot of us

we have a fear of failure a lot of that

comes from you had an event that

occurred in your past that you perceived

as a failure and that meant that you're

not good enough and now sure enough you

never start a business today you never

go for it you never take a risk in your

life you never make things happen

because that keeps coming up for you

it's almost like we have a wound you

know you have a wound and there's a scab

and the scab never fully heals and you

know every time it these events occur in

our future in the present

it's like poking at that scab and that

wounds that we still haven't healed it's

not until you can heal that wound

completely that it creates a new

possibility for your future so let me

give you some examples you know

sometimes you know let's say in a

relationship and someone says something

they make a comment your loved one makes

a comment or maybe they even give you a

look you know I think we've all had that

in a relationship where someone gives a

certain look and we immediately feel

angry or frustrated or we have some sort

of disempowering emotion that shows up

now what happened was they gave a look

or they said something but you've got to

be able to understand that it's the

meaning that you created from that event

that is what is creating the pain for

you okay you made that mean that they

looked at you a certain way and so

therefore that means that they don't

love you or therefore that means that

you're not enough or therefore that

means that they're judging you or

criticizing you and so you get defensive

and you get defensive as a way to

protect yourself and you react as a way

to protect yourself because you haven't

really healed that and you're creating a

disempowering

and when you can that the freedom comes

when you can understand this when you

can look at the event for what it is and

not attach a meaning to it or create a

more empowering meaning from these

events that have occurred in our lives

I've shared this story before and kind

of talked a little bit about about this

but a simple example is let's say that

two people they go to Iran and they're

you know the they're in the military for

example they're in the army and they

step on a landmine and they lose their

legs and both people the same event the

same event occurs for for two different

people and they come back to America

let's say and they're both in a

wheelchair now one person created a

story from the event and a meaning that

because I lost my legs because I'm now

in a wheelchair that my life is over and

they create a meaning of why God did did

this happen to me and you know because

this happened my life's over

why even live why even continue they're

focusing on all the limitations that are

now occurred in their life because of

that and they have anger and sadness and

depression over that events there's a

lot of people that's the meaning

interpretation that they create at an

event like that but not everyone another

person has the exact same event they

come back they're in a wheelchair but

they have a different emotional reaction

where instead of feeling anger and

sadness and depression they actually

feel aliveness and gratitude and joy and

happiness well how could that be well

that person created an empowering

meaning they think because that happened

God is giving them another chance and

because that event happened in their

life they're never gonna take for

granted another day of their life

they're gonna cherish every moment every

opportunity of their life because they

feel like they had a second chance and

they're gonna make their life count

they're gonna pursue their goals and

dreams all based on what what's the

difference between the two events the

same event happens different meaning a

different interpretation so my friends

the freedom lies in freeing yourself

from the meaning that you created

okay we're responsible for it we create

the meaning and that's where it starts

is you got a real

it's that you created the meaning you

created the interpretation and that also

gives you the freedom the power to

change it and to shift it you know give

you an example you know sometimes you

know what happens for kids is your

parents go through divorce my parents

both went through two divorces and I

know what that's like and oftentimes

when you're a kid let's say you're five

years old your parents are yelling and

arguing and they get a divorce what kids

do which doesn't make any sense but you

know most often kids do it is they

create a meaning that it's their fault

it's their fault that their parents are

arguing and that they might have

deserved it I know a lot of kids for

example when they go through abuse when

they're young they created meaning that

it was their fault and they deserved it

even though when it wasn't at all and I

don't condone any of that stuff but we

create these crazy meanings and it means

that we're not good enough and so sure

enough you continue to carry that with

you into your present in your future and

you know you never get too close to

someone you know and these are things

that affect us to this day and they get

triggered instead of if you can go back

to that event and this is where the deep

work occurs when you can go back to

these events and experiences from your

life and just realize it didn't mean

that at all that that was just an out of

date interpretation that you had when

you're five years old when you're 10

years old and it doesn't have to mean

that you're not enough it doesn't have

to mean that at all it just maybe means

that your parents were in a dark place

you know or that person was going

through a lot in their life and they

took it out on you and they had anger

they had something that they didn't know

how to deal with and they did something

to you or they got a divorce or whatever

happened but whatever it is we don't

need to create personal meaning to it

and have us have that affect us and if

you can free yourself on that then it

can really shift how you feel right now

in your life about your experiences and

and who you are today does that make

sense so what I want to invite you to

take on is this perspective is to look

at the experiences that you have in your

past

and even that you might be having a

curve for you every single day of your

life when you have those emotional

reactions is really being able to

understand that this is what happened

but either trying to disassociate from

the meaning or create something

empowering one of my favorite questions

that I asked myself is what else could

this mean what else could this mean or

what's great about this you know and if

I can create a new empowering meaning

behind this then it can really serve and

empower me my life if something happens

in my business and I can either

interpret it as a failure and if I fail

then it means I'm not enough and other

people are gonna judge me and criticize

me I can create a whole story out of

that and feel pretty lousy and miserable

but does that really serve me probably

not instead if I can look that

experience and say you know what I'm

grateful for this because of this it's

forcing me to grow and become better and

become a better human being or because

of this event

I can appreciate things so much more now

in my life or because of this event I

can make a new decision and you can lead

me down a new path in my life but I

believe that in every event in scenario

in situation in life we can create and

find something good we can create

something empowering you know there's

people that die you know we are going to

encounter a death of someone that we

love that's important to us and I think

there's a natural grieving process that

everybody goes through but if you

continue to indulge in that and suffer

around that then it's most often because

you are associating a meaning of loss or

a meaning of you know it may be a level

of a guilt that you might have feel

around someone's death or maybe a

meaning of it shouldn't have happens or

something around that instead of maybe

creating a more empowering meaning as

saying you know what because of this

person died I'm gonna celebrate their

life rather than to feel guilty and feel

sad and sorry but I'm gonna celebrate

them and they could still be alive maybe

not physically but I can still keep them

alive in my mind and through

conversation and speaking about that

person and I can still keep that person

alive and I don't have to have that

sense of loss and I can celebrate their

life because they wouldn't want me to

suffer they wouldn't want me to feel

guilty or sad do you'd want me to be

happy and be free and not I feel

back because of that person's death so

it's finding the good it's interpreting

things in a positive way and whatever

you believe is going to be true and real

for you whether it's based on actuality

or not because there's no absolute truth

nobody has all the answers but they're

all a series of interpretations and

meanings that we create and it's really

looking at the meanings and the

interpretations and the stories you've

created of these events and asking

yourself is this useful or not is this

disempowering or is it empowering I

don't know about you but I want to take

on a more empowering meaning to these

stories and experiences I want to find

the good and if you look hard enough

you'll find it you know you might

approach a man or a woman and they might

reject you and they might say something

to you or not want to be with you or you

know say something that you might

perceive as mean or rude or

disrespectful and you can create a

meaning of that that it means that I'm

not good enough it means that all the

good ones are gone it means I'll never

find someone you can create all the

stories around that but does that really

serve you in your life is that useful

probably not maybe instead you can

perceive it as this person rejecting me

is actually a gift that they're helping

me become stronger they're helping me

being able to handle and deal with

rejection in a different way or maybe

they're helping me become more confident

or maybe helping you become a better

person in some way shape or form or

maybe it's a gift because it can lead

you're finding the right one you know

that if you ended up with that person

maybe it's a good thing you didn't end

up with them because it can lead you to

finding a better person in your life and

a better relationship right so it's

finding a way to look for the good in

that and forcing yourself to do so I

believe that if you can free yourself

from a lot of these disempowering

interpretations and change your

perspective your view you know Wayne

Dyer said if you change the way you look

at things the things that you look at

change because everything is just a

matter of interpretation so if you can

shift that and be aware of it more

importantly then I think it can allow

you to let go of a lot of the pain and

the trauma and the suffering that we end

up living with so I know this is a deep

subject and I'm just

you know really touching the surface of

it but I want to I wanted to open you up

to this in some way to at least have you

evaluate and be a little bit more aware

of the events from your life and

understand that nothing has any meaning

but the meaning you give it and look at

things for what it is and don't make it

worse than it is because then you're

actually becoming a drama king or queen

and indulging in it because you're

getting a payoff right and sometimes

that payoff is you get attention from

people because sometimes when you have

the story of what happened and you make

this big drama it's a way for you to get

attention or sympathy or connection from

other people in your life and you know

even though you kind of get that low

level of connection it doesn't free you

and we get these payoffs and that's why

we become addicted to a lot of these

stories and these meanings and we never

free ourselves from it so I want to

invite you to look at things in a

different way and look at the meanings

that you've created and to catch

yourself if you catch yourself too you

know creating a disempowering meaning of

something just ask yourself what else

could this mean or what's good in this

what can I learn from this how can I

grow from this ask yourself a more

empowering question to search for and

dig something more empowering that can

serve you from that and then when you do

that you look at all the events in your

life and instead of resenting and

feeling pain around them you can look at

them as a gift and I look at my past and

trust me I've been through a lot of

painful offense but I'm grateful for it

all you know why because of Who I am

today and every single event of my life

gave me a gift and served me and put me

on the right course in the right track

and I learned from it I became better

from it a lot of my darkest times in my

life led me to the most beautiful

moments to the discoveries of

self-empowerment or spirituality or

connecting North God or whatever it is

these are things that I've chosen to use

for a greater good in my life rather

than looking at them as painful so it

says it's a different perspective to

look at but I think that if you can take

it on it can really free you in a lot of

different ways so I want to offer that

for you and hopefully this can empower

you in your life but it's just a

viewpoint or perspective that you might

want to try trying

if you like it great keep it if not put

it back on the shelf that's okay too

so listen if you enjoyed this please

give this video a thumbs up you can

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otherwise I want to thank you so much

for being here and watching giving me

your time and attention I love you and

appreciate you god bless and take care

you

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