hey guys Stefan here from project like
master comm and today's video blog I
want to talk to you guys about a concept
called offering value as opposed to
I used to actually teach a lot and it's
cutting like a core component of my life
they used to teach years ago back when I
was like in meeting people mode and and
dating and stuff like that and I find
that a lot of people like one thing that
holds them back in their life especially
when it comes to meeting people
networking even business or even in a
career or anything really for that
matter relationships is there's so much
in a mode of trying to get from others
of what I call taking value in some way
and I've experienced it firsthand and
that's kind of part of the reason why
I'm creating this video because I've
noticed that since I've had this blog
and my youtube channel and I've been
putting out these videos for you guys
and I've created the courses and some
books and stuff and I've been putting
out all this value you know all this
free content on my blog and everything
as a way to contribute I've noticed a
big shift in my relationships with other
people I've noticed a big shift of just
people around me and attracting certain
people into my life because what happens
is especially now since I've been
sharing my goals my progress even how
much money I'm making my lifestyle and
stuff I do that more out of inspiration
to try to you know help people and
inspire you guys and also just be
transparent with myself to measure my
goals and just you know add value to you
guys in that way as well but also just
benefits me by looking at my goals
analyzing things making my commitments
public so I'm more accountable to it and
everything but what's happened when I've
done that is people's perception of me
has shifted a lot of people now they see
me I guess you could say as like a
high-value person you know or like a
high-status person because they perceive
me as successful or I live in a
penthouse or something like that you
know and really I'm not I'm just a
regular guy I'm just no different than
you guys I just took a lot of action I
was motivated and committed to my goals
I went through a lot of failures and
hard times and everything but I just
stuck you at it and there's no reason
why you couldn't do the same thing as me
or if not
better if you just kind of go through
that same process and keep improving
yourself and growing and going through
the processes I went through so there's
really nothing special about me but
people in society they associate you
know money and success all the sort of
things to a higher status a higher
status person and since I've kind of I
guess been one of those people now in
society and even just having a blog and
everything I kind of put myself in a
position of being an authority because a
lot of people I guess follow me or
listen to me and stuff what's happened
is their perception is shifted and when
the perception shifts people's behavior
shifts as well and so for example one
thing that I've noticed is all of a
sudden people want to hang out with me
more just people that I know on Facebook
and my immediate circle of friends and
everything not including people that are
on my blog and all that stuff that's a
totally different story but just people
in my life people that met years ago
people that were acquaintances they want
to hang out with me now they want to
their messaged me on Facebook all of a
sudden of the blue to get together for
coffee or go for lunch or they want to
meet with me to pick my brain or people
want to know this is a common one people
that have known for years years ago that
I don't even know that well they're like
all of a sudden trying to be my friend
and they're like hey can you show me how
to make money online and how can you
show me how to you know get me this
Kindle stuff and I say hey you know
where did a course for this purpose so I
have a course that could actually teach
you but like no no I want to meet with
you for coffee and ask you all this
stuff and I'm like I've got a course
that covers all this stuff you know it
goes into everything more detail it has
more than what I could share with you
just meaning with you know with you for
coffee but they don't want to invest
money they think I'm gonna give it to
them for free or help them for free and
basically just you know give them free
coaching and free advice and all that
sort of stuff and that's so that's kind
of part of the experience that I've
noticed ship just with people in my life
and at first is kind of annoying you
know it's kind of frustrating in a way
because where were these people years
ago you know none of these people really
want to hang out with me as much as they
do now years ago even with women and
dating and stuff all the sudden girls
want to hang out with me more they want
to come
/ when I had a house party here last
month at over a hundred people showed up
you know a lot of you seen people a lot
of these same girls and stuff I invited
to my house parties before my other
apartment but none of them showed up so
now all of a sudden they want to show up
they want to hang out they want to come
over and it's just a much different
experience and again I was frustrated
about it I was kind of like you know why
is this are people just shallow or
people just materialistic are they just
using me are they taking advantage of me
you know why is this happening and I
realized I can't really judge these
people for it because in many ways I'm
the same way you know for me when I was
younger when I was struggling in my life
I looked up to people that were more
successful than I was I looked up to
people that I followed on YouTube or
bought their courses or their products
and stuff like that and I you know knew
some of these people and I wanted to be
around them you know I wanted to go for
dinner with them I wanted to hang out
with them I kind of a little bit wasn't
that mentality of trying to take trying
to get and take value but I learned a
really empower 'fl lesson from a friend
of mine now let me share that with you
guys in a little bit but I've noticed
though that like I can't judge these
people you know because I used to be the
same way or even I guess with dating too
you know I'm I'm more attracted to a
woman that is beautiful than one that
isn't as beautiful I'd much rather talk
to you or take out or hang out with the
girl that I'm really attracted to you
and it's beautiful as opposed to one
that isn't you know and maybe you could
say that I'm shallow
you know because maybe if this girl
wasn't as beautiful or wasn't you know a
certain way or whatever then I wouldn't
really want it I'm hanging out with her
as much so I realize you know I can't
really judge for that because I think
people their nature is to gravitate
towards people of higher status it goes
back to the caveman days and everything
where there's an alpha male and the Tri
the leader and we want to ensure our
survival and by being associated with
that person it's going to ensure our
survival for years to come it's going to
ensure the survival of our offspring of
our babies and stuff like that you know
even women biologically they want to
procreate with men that are of higher
status because it ensures the survival
of their offspring offspring so
can i fault people for that not really
you know I think it's just human beings
nature and for me at least I am aware of
this kind of stuff that's that's shifted
and I still try to come from a place of
love and accepting people and
understanding where they're coming from
but the one thing that I wanted to talk
about more so in this video was the
offering value part and the taking value
so a lot of people that have noticed
just those friends people on Facebook
and stuff they're coming from a place of
taking value they have this expectation
that I should help them and I should
give them free coaching advice and
they're trying to get they're trying to
take they're kind of like these leeches
that just try to suck from you and
they're not really considering your life
your schedule your you know what's going
on they're more thinking about
themselves you know and it's the same
thing I've noticed to just even you know
people on my blog people that follow me
people that watch my videos and stuff
people that buy my Kindle course is they
maybe invest in my course or watch my
videos and stuff but they may expect me
to be able to help them one-on-one and
and send me all these emails and
questions and a whole list to them and
ask for coaching and advice and I should
give them feedback on this and that and
everything and as much as I love to do
that and I do still do that and
everything people are common are coming
from a position of still trying to take
and trying to get something from you or
they have this life problem that they
want you to solve and they'll want to
email to you and ask you questions and
stuff and my different approach that is
worth considering for you that I learned
a years ago from a friend of mine and a
mentor was to always come from a
position of trying to add value to
others okay because generally when you
try to take from others people get
repelled by that they don't want to be
around that you know I think about it in
a way you know like if you go to a bar
or a club or something like that and
there's a beautiful woman there most
guys that approach her are just trying
to get something from her you know
they're trying to sleep with that girl
or get her phone number or get a date or
something like that and that's why a lot
of these you know a woman at a bar might
be have a guard up you know she might be
a little bit closed off people might
perceive her as being standoffish or
whatever
and it's not that she is its dish that
just has so many guys that are trying to
take and get something from her that
eventually you would do the same thing
as well you know I know for me when I
went to Thailand and started traveling
you have so many people that approach
you to ask for money right even here in
Vancouver you know you walk down the
street as homeless people that come up
to you and once you get that again and
again and again you put up a guard and
you're like you just kind of ignore them
you know it is not that you're trying to
be rude or mean or something like that
but you just have so many people that
try to get from you and take and ask you
stuff and ask you for money all that
sort of stuff that you put up those
walls you know so the other approach is
adding value so what I learned from this
friend is that everyone you meet ok a
successful person you're at a seminar
something that you follow on a blog you
know of course or whatever instead of
trying to get from them and ask for your
questions and get help from that person
instead it first come from a position of
trying to add value to them ok so take
yourself out of the equation stop
focusing on you focus more on how you
can serve the other person and so one
might my friend told me that when you go
to a seminar or a networking event most
people they try to sell themselves right
they give up their business card you
know and all that sort of stuff which
usually always goes in the trash that's
why I don't do business cards and so
what he taught me is that when you
approach people and you meet them you
want to ask them this question what's
the best way for me to contribute to
your life ok what's the best way for me
to contribute to your life and you ask
them that question and I guarantee you
they don't get that question a lot most
people are trying to take from them so
much especially people that are have
higher status that they don't have a lot
of people that come from a place I'm
just trying to help them first and add
value to them first okay so ask that
question come from from that approach of
trying to add value and say hey how can
I add value to your life what's the best
way for me to do that if you do that ok
if you add value to someone guess what's
gonna happen they're gonna want to be
around you they're gonna be drawn to you
they're gonna want to spend time they're
gonna want to help you because you're
coming from a place I'm not trying to
take but to give the same thing in a
relationship guys the relationship is a
place you go to give not
yet same thing in meeting someone you
know if you see an attractive woman
there instead of trying to get something
from her focus on how you can make her
smile how you can make her day how he
can make her feel good
and guess what she'll want to be around
you she'll want to give you her phone
there but she'll want to go on a date
she'll want to be in a relationship with
you because you're somebody that's a
source of giving and adding value to
others as opposed to getting okay so
that's another perception to look at
things guys that will change your life
if you apply it be a giver don't be a
go-getter be a go giver be someone that
adds value don't be a leech that just
tries to suck energy from people and
trying to suck value from them but
rather be in a position where you add
value because when you do that it will
just totally change everything for you
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