you
all right guy
today today I want to talk to you about
motivation the secrets to being
motivated in your life to achieve
whatever it is that you want in your
life
now this is something you've heard from
everybody okay this isn't new you've
heard this from every freaking self-help
book out there every guru has said this
but it's worth saying again because this
is the key the fundamental thing that
you always have to remind yourself of in
order to get yourself motivated to
achieve your goals what it comes down to
you guys the secret to motivation is
having a strong enough why having a
compelling why compelling reasons a
purpose in order for you to achieve your
goals that's the one thing that's
consistent amongst everyone that is
successful anyone that's achieved
something great
anyone that's achieved something amazing
success in their life they've had a
reason to achieve it a purpose behind it
that strength of that purpose is what's
going to determine how motivated you are
many of you guys say hey you know what
I've got some reasons I got a you know
I'm broke and all that sort of stuff but
it's not strong enough to push your ass
to achieve it the comfort and the
temptations the distractions and all
that is much more easy for you
that overrides that that why it's not
strong enough the comfort is greater
than your reason why so having a strong
reason why something that motivates you
something that compels you to achieve
your goal is the key you got to first
know what you want specifically and then
you got to know why you want it what are
the reasons for you to achieve it
you know we're driven by pain and
you desire the need to avoid pain and
the desire to gain pleasure Tony Robbins
says that now what's a bigger motivator
pain or pleasure pain will do almost
anything to avoid pain if you can you
is the pain of your life those
experiences and those moments and you
use that to your advantage
then that could be a powerful
motivator right there because in order
to avoid that pain you'll do almost
anything to get out of that and achieve
what it is that you want I want to share
with you guys some stories from my life
some experiences that have driven me and
I I got a confession to make I've been
more driven by pain in my life than
pleasure that's what's driven me to get
to where I want where I am today has
been the pain of my life the painful
moments and the experiences that's what
gave me that reasons to change it made
me hit rock bottom hit that
emotional threshold to want to do
something with my life to make some new
decisions some new choices that have
allowed me and pushed me to get to where
I am today when I was 16 years old as a
shy kid shy emotional geeky nerdy
introverted had no social skills I met
this girl okay when I was 16 fell in
love with this girl lost my virginity to
this girl thought she was
amazing
you know just totally attached to this
girl you know as a young guy who was
emotional I was just I thought it was in
love with this girl she lived in st.
Louis Missouri I live in Vancouver and I
it was a long-distance thing but I
wanted to find a way to make it work I
wanted to see this girl so when I was 16
years old I bought a bus ticket a
Greyhound bus ticket to go run away from
a home to go see this girl's my escape I
was so unhappy with my life I didn't
tell my family or anything like that I
just decided hey you know what I want to
see this girl I'm just gonna run
off with her and everything is going to
be great I'm gonna live happily ever
after
right somehow came up with 200 bucks I
was going to take the Greyhound to go
see this girl for like two days and go
stay with her the day before I was meant
to go see her she flaked out on me
didn't want me to come
freaked out that hurts
that was painful it's cold devastated me
you know I still remember the pain of
that and just getting my heart broken by
thinking I was in love with this girl
and having it not work out you know the
first time in my life where I really
felt that kind of pain you know and
often relationships is it can be the
greatest source of pleasure but also the
greatest source of pain and that's what
it was for me I remember crying I
remember getting emotional being
depressed about this it's tough times
and when I look back at that moment that
experience it was actually the greatest
gift of my life because it
motivated me because in that pain that I
was in I finally got to a point where I
became honest with myself and I made a
decision a decision was I will no longer
settle for the status quo I will no
longer settle in my life for less than I
can be for a life that I freaking had
which was nothing is playing video games
and watching TV not having friends not
having a relationship all the pain of
that the pain of this woman breaking my
heart
devastating me gave me a reason to
change it motivated me it gave me a why
and that why was I'm gonna do whatever
it takes to change my life I'm gonna do
whatever it takes to make sure that this
never happens to me again that'll never
have to experience this that I can maybe
become the type of man who's confident
who can attract someone that could have
you know a quality woman in my life that
was my drive so what did I do
got rid of the computer the
video games TV all that and I went
on a journey to change myself I started
reading books I started drinking going
out in the city and
approaching random strangers because
that was the one thing that scared the
hell out of me more than anything you
know I had to so much anxiety just to go
up and talk to someone I was always a
quiet shy guy in the corner that
wouldn't say anything that always avoid
people
he was always isolating myself and I
decided no more I'm gonna do what it
takes
met a group of guys ended up going out
with them used to go to a Granville
Street here in Vancouver when I was 17
years old I used to approach girls and
try to meet girls outside the clubs they
were much older than I was I had to face
the failure and the rejections the pain
of that the anxiety the fear I had to
face those fears and overcome them but
the pain of the alternative which was
that shitty-ass life that was no longer
an option for me because I'd much rather
endure the pain and the discomfort and
the rejection and the failure and go
through that in order to get to where I
want to go to be who I wanted to be and
so I did that and I push my comfort zone
massively my whole goal was not really
even to meet someone it was to improve
myself I figured the more times that I
pushed myself and did something that I
was scared of the more confident I would
become you know because every
interaction that I leave I would gain
something from it I'd gain a sense of
confidence of certainty I would
desensitize myself to that rejection to
that pain I just figured hey the more
times I get rejected the more it's
teaching me not to give a what
people think you know imagine that
becoming desensitized by rejection most
people are afraid of rejection I'd tell
them hey go get rejected a hundred times
to get to the point where you're no
longer afraid of it that's how you
overcome that so that's what I did guys
I remember doing public speaking classes
scared the out of me guys
standing up in front of people I
remember sweating being nervous my heart
pounding I did acting classes improv
classes anything that could improve
myself and so that I could get better
it was that reason why that girl
breaking my heart I wanted to prove her
wrong I wanted to be the best that I can
be I had a vision for myself and the why
was the pain of that moment that
experience that compelled me to change
sure enough that was the greatest gift
of my life because it helped me learn
and grow and develop myself at a very
young age it helped me change myself my
beliefs the way that I communicate my
social skills my confidence everything
because of that experience the pain of
that I decided to use that pain and not
have it use me I decided that I was no
longer gonna wallow around in that pain
of not having what I want and not being
good enough and actually do something
about it change myself improve myself
become better and that's what I did
emember years later guys I had a
girlfriends early early 20s love this
girl mazing girls still amazing to this
day had a great relationship with her
and I remember certain moments that I'll
never forget that really was another
moment in my life that really sparked
that change and gave me a why to really
go after a new change a new thing in my
life it was New Year's New Year's Eve
and I was drunk I was out of it you know
I was out of the way before you know New
Year's even hit and we're at a friend's
house and I was drunk and I was throwing
up and everything and my girlfriend
would even stick her fingers down my
throat so that I could puke out in the
toilet you know so she was a great girl
and everything and I remember that night
we had to go to a bar to meet some
friends
and so she's dragging me and I'm barely
even conscious guys I'm just out of it
we get to this bar and I remember just
sitting there sitting there
semi-conscious just not able to do
anything I was just so out about so
drunk and I remember when I was there
there were these guys that were hitting
on my girlfriend you know and they're
kind of touching
and buying her drinks and stuff like
that and I remember being there and just
being in this state was like like I
being angry and pissed at this but not
being not able to do anything about it
feeling powerless and hopeless and just
being there and just just having that
anger and I I mean even if I was sober I
probably wouldn't even do anything about
it anyways
what happened was me and my girlfriend
broke up soon after that but that moment
gave me a new reason it gave me a reason
to actually change my body to actually
become someone that in that situation
again wouldn't tolerate that because
what I really wanted to do was go up to
those guys like hey man get the out
of here
but I was semi drunk and conscious
unconscious and everything and I was a
weakling a skinny and what I decided at
that moment to use the pain from that to
change my body I started working out I
started going in the gym I wanted to
become a bigger guy you know put on some
muscle some size develop my masculine
presence so I went to the gym I learned
about working out the whole process
I went from 135 pounds to 185 pounds
within a few years was bulking up now of
course I was fat you know because I was
doing the bulk we're not trying to put
on muscle but really I was also putting
on a shitload of fat in the process but
it gave me the sense of power it gave me
the sense of like wow like I'm a strong
guy I started doing my tie
Jiu Jitsu developing my confidence there
helped help building my masculine
identity so that I could make my
girlfriend feel safe and protected and I
could stand up to myself in those
situations I wanted to change my body to
prove the girlfriend wrong you know I
remember that vividly you know getting
out of that relationship and you know
just kind of fantasizing about running
into that
again and just being this new version of
myself and having her see me like wow
who's that you know that's what drove me
it was the pain from that pain from that
experience also the pain of that breakup
that was my why to change myself
financially guys I remember being in
Thailand
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