another principle that I have is that
you are responsible for everything in a
relationship you are responsible really
for everything in your life because on
created that in some way or a part of
that process and again even if it's not
necessarily true but you take an
ownership of it it gives you control
over that as well
you might look at your partner and blame
them that they're a certain way or
they're they're not like this or they're
doing this or whatever it is really what
you got to do is you've got to look at
yourself and be like okay what am i
doing that is maybe contributing to this
or what could I change in myself a lot
of relationships are just fighting about
each other they're arguing back and
forth that was my parents you know
always fighting back and forth with each
other and if they had just looked at
okay how can I improve myself or be more
loving or or maybe maybe you know if
this happened I feel insecure that's
something that's not them it's me I got
a I could even work on that within
myself I gotta improve or change that
within myself so I always look at myself
first because the issue is if you just
always blame your partner then you're
gonna move on to another relationship
you're gonna take you with you and
you're gonna have the same pattern the
same process again the next person so
you really got to look at yourself and
be honest with yourself
how are you showing up you're
responsible for things I'm responsible
even if you know if I if I might have
said something even though it might have
been like a thing that wasn't even
offensive but my girlfriend takes
offense to it I still take ownership and
responsibility for that I never I never
blame each other we never accuse each
other of things we always know also that
we both have a positive intent and we
never question that you know I know that
my girlfriend loves me no matter what
she knows I love her no matter what
sometimes the behavior might be
different because I might be tired I
might be stressed or I might be going
through a lot but we never take that
personally in any way okay next is
understanding the power of alignment
you can create a traction with some
someone or love or passion you could be
together but what's gonna make that
relationship last is alignment you have
to be aligned with three things versus
your vision or goals second is your
values and then third not always but the
core beliefs ok let me give you an
example if your vision and your goal is
to be an internet entrepreneur to travel
the world to escape the nine-to-five -
you know just be this internet nomad
your partner's vision is to I don't know
become a lawyer and have a job that they
have to work 80 hours a week that's
their vision there's gonna be a conflict
with that you can make it work for a
while but eventually you're gonna
basically be pursuing two different
visions and it's gonna create some
issues in some level because you're not
aligned with that another example is you
know you want to have kids and start a
family that's your vision
but your partner their vision is they
don't want to have kids they don't want
to have a family that's gonna create
some issues long term okay because your
each have totally different visions that
aren't aligned values are like you know
if self development is an important
value that you have that's a very
important in your life but your partner
thinks it's stupid and why would you
improve yourself and all that's
that's gonna create a conflict if you
believe that health is so important and
your body is our temple and you're
you're a very healthy person your
partner isn't they want to eat junk food
or eat poorly that's gonna be a conflict
I remember you know I had a relationship
I was a really healthy person but my
partner she just loved eating whatever
you know junk food so I I found whenever
we watch a movie together or do things
she would end up you know wanting the
dessert or the bad food and I'd try to
stop her and you know I tried to lecture
her on that and then it'd make her feel
bad and then she'd resent me or I'd
resent her on some level and it just
because we had that different value of
what was important it always created a
conflict in the relationship okay
beliefs
are you know if you're religious and God
is important to you but your partner
isn't you know that's a different belief
system that you're not gonna be aligned
with now you don't have to be aligned
with everything you do have to be
aligned on the most important things
because sometimes yeah you're gonna have
different beliefs different opinions
that's that's healthy that's normal you
know your partner might be into chick
flicks and you might be into the action
movies you might be into this type of
music they might be into that I'm not
talking about those things I'm talking
about the most important things to you
okay so you've got to make sure that you
have that alignment with those important
things otherwise you're gonna grow apart
not together my girlfriend and I we
always grow together we go to seminars
together you know we're both the same in
terms of health in terms of spirituality
we share the same beliefs we both have
online businesses we both have the same
lifestyle we both have the same future
that we're moving towards the vision
that I shared with you guys she has the
same vision similar maybe different in a
few different aspects but the core of it
is the same so that allows us to grow
together our relationship is always
growing it's always getting better
because we're on the same page and we're
on the same path I've had other
experiences where I'm accelerating my
growth so much but my partner is kind of
stand at a certain level so I kind of
resent that person because I feel like
they're holding me back right that's why
for me I'm like you know what you have
to be growing with me because if I'm
doing all the self-development stuff and
and you're not you're not gonna be able
to relate and share those same
experiences that we're doing together so
you know me and her we go into a
meditation retreat together we're going
to travel together seminars together
we've done so much together that brings
us closer and allows us to both grow so
that we're both growing together not
apart
you
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