hey guys Stefan here from project life
mastery comm and I just got finished
shopping with Tatiana and there's a
specific incident that happened that I
think is a very valuable lesson that I
happened was Tatiana and I were doing
some shopping and we're doing it as a
way to reward ourselves for a lot of the
hard work that we put in because a lot
of people don't understand how hard that
we work throughout the week on her
business and also a lot of value that
were providing to people through
creating content through products
services whatever might be and so we
thought you know it's nice to be able to
enjoy some of the money that you're
making because that's part of the reward
I think it's great to you know use your
money for a lot of different purposes to
give it away to contribute beyond
yourself to invest that into your
business to save the money to invest it
for your future as well but you also got
to make sure that you're enjoying some
of the money that you're making because
otherwise what's really the purpose for
it you know if you're not rewarding
yourself for the hard work that you're
putting in and treating yourself once in
awhile then it's very hard to get
yourself as motivated as you could be so
I think it's important to have a balance
of that and that when you are going to
reward or treat yourself that you don't
feel guilty about that in any way you
don't feel shamed because you've earned
it right so anyways what happened was
Tatiana bought a pair of shoes from
Jimmy Choo and of course they're fairly
expensive pair of shoes but she's doing
amazingly well she's crushing it she
deserves it right so she naturally when
you you know buy something or you want
to celebrate something you want to share
it with those that you love and so she
actually shared it with her mom and it
was a big mistake because her mom
Tatiana and her mom they grew up similar
myself not having much money my parents
went through bankruptcy
you know her mom struggled you know
struggles with money as well and
she has certain conditioning and beliefs
around money and for her you know when
she found out that Tatiana bought this
pair of shoes she it evoked an emotional
reaction with her within her of scarcity
and all you know automatically made her
feel you should save your money a stupid
you shouldn't spend your money on things
like that and you know Tati I didn't
feel too good about that especially when
it comes from someone that you love and
it's really interesting you know one
thing that I've learned is all of us and
especially you know myself or if you
grew up in a family like this we have
certain conditioning from our childhood
especially around money that can still
affect us today that often times can be
blocks and hold us back okay so for
example for me you know my parents you
know we used to always say you can't
afford we can't afford this or you know
the certain beliefs around money and
that was imprinted in me in a huge way
you know not to spend your money on this
or that you have to you know hoard your
money and of course boarding your
money's not good either you got to have
a balance of that I think you know you
can you don't want to overspend of
course you want to be smart you want to
be intelligent you've got to manage your
money etc right but there's three
different ways that oftentimes we get
imprinted okay so this is very important
number one is verbal conditioning verbal
conditioning verbal conditioning is what
you hear all right what your parents
what your family's said and talked about
money the association's and beliefs that
they had around it whether they said to
you that money is bad right a lot of
people have those beliefs that money is
you know rich people are a certain way
rich people are bad people or they're
or they're selfish or whatever it might
be these beliefs around money is
oftentimes you hear them when you're
young and that's imprinted in you
whether consciously wear it or not and
that can affect us to this very day the
second way is through modeling okay so
what you see we subconsciously model the
behavior especially when you're young of
those around us because our parents our
siblings are maybe our friends or your
teachers okay the way that they behave
and they act and especially around money
that gets imprinted in you all right
just through osmosis being around that
you see it and you take on those
behaviors as well although there is
something called reverse modeling which
is oftentimes when if your parents are a
certain day you actually do the opposite
okay that's kind of one thing for me I
actually became the opposite of my dad
for example because I saw certain
behaviors I didn't like and I reversed
my I didn't want to be like that because
I saw you know the pain that that caused
that actually became the opposites one
of the reasons what drove me to do well
in my life and become successful because
of a lot of pain and seeing you know you
know a lot of that and just wanted to do
the opposite so that I could have a
better life the third way is through
specific incidents okay specific
incidents incidents like what I just
described where you know you're you know
maybe when you're a kid and you go out
and you spend some money on something
and your parents get angry at you or
they yell at you or they judge you for
it
make you feel bad or they whatever it
might be they punish you in some way
that specific incidents in princess and
often times you create an association to
that that can affect you 20 years later
very powerful that's why Gaza important
if you're a parent or even if you're not
a parent if you're just a friend of
anybody you've got to be very careful
very careful about how you number one
what you say around other people you
know what you do and how you act and
behave but also the incidents because
you got to understand the consequences
of that right you know something you
know your parents they might not be
aware of that or you might not be aware
of that when you lash out on someone or
you react in a certain way you get angry
at them or you judge them or you're you
know you're mean to them or whatever it
might be that can create a negative
belief or association within that person
and a lot of people have no idea how to
change their beliefs or how to identify
or change them and so they're always
enslaved to them based on what somebody
else said right it had been 10 years ago
so these things control us these things
can influence us in a massive massive
way and it's very important to really
uncover whatever these blocks you might
have around money that could be holding
you back because not unless you do
you're going to continue to struggle you
know a lot of people they have a hard
time making money because of certain
beliefs and certain associations they
have around it or they have a hard time
keeping money right or spending money a
lot of people because of they have a lot
of pain and a lot of fear around
spending money or investing it in
themselves whatever it might be and you
got to understand is that money all it
really is guys is a tool that's it it's
just a tool it's like a hammer you can
use a hammer to build or you can use a
hammer to destroy it's not the hammer
it's not the money that is bad or great
it's the person holding the money right
the hammer is not corrupt the hammer is
not evil the hammer is not bad it's the
person holding the hammer that they can
use it to build
destroy money can also be used to build
or destroy and the way to get more money
is through adding value adding value
that's it that's the only way guys you
got to find a way to add more value to
other people's lives as an entrepreneur
that's solving people's problems and you
get rewarded for that and when you have
money you know you shouldn't feel bad
about it because obviously you've earned
it you put in the work you've added
value you've made a difference in some
aspect or some way that's a great thing
and you can balance things out of course
by also deciding ok I'm gonna manage my
money smart I'm gonna have a certain
percentage of my money that I save a
certain percentage of my money that I
invest a certain percentage of money
that I put towards my own education my
own self growth a certain percent to fun
and enjoying and whatever it is totally
guilt free a certain percent as well to
contribute and give and you decide what
that is but that's what can allow you to
have that balance when it when it comes
to that so you don't feel bad if you you
know you have fun once in a while with
your money and you spend it and at the
same time you know you can you can feel
good if you give and contribute it but
you can't obviously give all your money
away because then you can't support
yourself you can't pay your bills you
don't have more money to grow and take
care of other people and your kids and
their family one day and so having a
good balance of that I think really has
a sweet spot around it but be aware of
your conditioning around money
identify uncover what it is I see so
much of it and not unless you make those
shifts when it comes to your beliefs
around money
often times they're not gonna get more
of it you know I believe that you know
often when you have money and even when
you spend it or you give it you're
practicing abundance the practicing
abundance and the universe is abundance
everything in the universe is abundance
right and we're a part of the universe
we're part of nature and so therefore
we're abundant as well and that when you
give and by the way when you actually
spend money you're contributing in some
way shape or form because if I've got a
thousand bucks and I go shopping and I
spend it different stores that's giving
that's what's up that's what the economy
and how the market and everything exists
because if you just hoard all your money
to yourself that's actually selfish if
you just save I'm gonna keep all my
money to myself no you gotta also with
maybe a certain percent you do of course
again balance but a certain percent you
give and even shopping and spending
money and who you give your money to and
investing in this person or that person
or that whatever might be that's also an
active contribution as well okay it's an
active exchange right you're giving
value money and you're also receiving
value in return
that's how money is oftentimes used it's
a tool for that it's also a game you
learn the game you learn the rules of it
you can make as much money as you want
it's a skill that you can learn is a
game you can learn how to play and when
you learn how to play it it's actually
pretty simple it's actually pretty fun
too when you learn the game of money
so hopefully this could add some value
to you guys I'm waiting for a taxi right
you know to go back home and we're going
to be
no tonight but I just wanted to share
that experience with you guys while it's
fresh on my mind alright guys take care
enjoy
you
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