no I will talk about mistakes that I
have made one that I'm starting to
recognize and really trying to get a
handle on it is saying yes to everything
in my position at bigger pockets
I'm community outreach I talked to a lot
of people and people will reach out to
me and say hey I would love to buy you
coffee I'm gonna be in town this one day
and like oh how can I rearrange my
and don't have anything to do so I can
go out to coffee and you know sometimes
things just don't work out and I need to
get better at recognizing that so that I
don't say yes to everything at the
expense of my children at the expense of
my relationship with my husband at the
expense of my free time and my mental
well-being and on the one hand I feel
like such a fraud because Who am I
somebody wants to spend time with me
somebody wants to talk to me about stuff
who am I to say no I'm too busy like I'm
just some random person I should be
thankful that somebody wants to talk to
me and you know on the other hand I
could talk to somebody every minute of
every day forever and that doesn't help
me spend time with my kids that doesn't
help me spend time with my husband that
doesn't help me you know that gives me
no down time to just relax and you know
take a step back and this even saying it
now sounds so conceited and snotty and
you know who are you that people use
saying no to people but you know you
have to recognize in your life that
there are times to say yes and there are
times to say no and it's a valid to say
no I can't do that because I'm going to
spend time with my kids or take a
mental-health break or you know saying
yes to every time you say yes to
something you are saying no to your
family and you can't say no to your
family and still have them be a part of
your life so good answer that is
that's is that a mistake is that yes
saying yes to everything is a mistake
it's it's really tough I mean I don't
have as many people emailing me but
thankfully but actually you're a lot
more social and a nicer person just in
general I can tell that just the brief
time that we've known each other I'm a
little bit of an asshole any of that I
struggle with it but me personally I
love to have like gaps in my schedule so
that I can just think or do nothing
because I tend to fill every little
pocket and then like you said over
commit everything takes a little longer
that I think it's gonna take so then
things fall off and I just I'm happier
and I am more creative and kamar and
less stressed out with like gap in the
schedule so I hope you can I give you
permission
not that you need my permission yeah
yeah you know what no you do need
permission to say no because we live in
America where everybody is trying to do
more and accomplish more and you
absolutely need permission from whoever
you listen to that it's okay to say no
it's okay to have a gap in your schedule
you don't have to commit to everything
all the time I love driving to work
twice a week it's a 45-minute Drive I
turn off the radio and I just sit there
in silence and I have my phone next to
me and I have my my note-taker app out
and I'll just talk oh hey
make sure you do this tomorrow or don't
forget you want to try this recipe or
make sure you email somebody when you
get to work and then when I get to work
I've got all these things that I was
thinking about or hey here's an article
that I think would be really cool to
write I can't think of that when I'm
listening to the radio or the kids
fighting in the back seat or having a
conversation with somebody else but I
can think of that and I mean I've
written articles on my phone and then
just copy them into WordPress and post
like that because you know you go back
and you edit it to make sure your
you're not saying no that was
autocorrected into something weird but
it's just a great space to think and I
need to build more spaces into my
schedule where I can just sit there and
think and it gets to be a little tough
but yeah you need permission everybody
listening you have my permission you
have Doug's permission to start saying
no to things you don't really want to do
things you don't really have time for or
things that are taking away from the the
things you really love a caveat to that
is don't say no to a job so you can just
play video games all day I'm not giving
you permission for that
very good
you
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