THE WORST ADVICE EVER! 🤦 #Best Education Page #Online Earning

hey guys so recently someone asked me

the question what's the worst advice

that anyone's ever given you and I want

to share with you what this is because I

have a feeling that some of you might

have also received this bad advice from

other people and that some of you might

also be giving this bad advice to other

people as well

and I want to make sure that that stops

today

so let me show you guys a story in

context about how I first received this

advice I used to be the opposite of Who

I am and how I am today most of you

already know my story but back when I

was in high school I used to be very shy

I dealt with a lot of depression I got

bullied a lot went to three different

high schools had a lot of social anxiety

I remember I used to skip a lot of

school because I show up to school I get

picked on or I show up and the teacher

would ask me a question for me everyone

in the class and my face would turn red

and I started sweating and shaking and I

tried to figure a way to go to the

bathroom or trying to get out of there

or the teacher would ask me to give a

presentation in front of class and I so

terrified of the thought of that that

I'd rather skip class and take the zero

then actually showing up and doing it so

I barely graduated high school I was

always a c-minus student always just

trying to find a way to get by hated

school hated my life hated myself didn't

have very many friends it was a very

negative person wanted a girlfriend but

knew that wasn't gonna happen my way of

escaping all of that was through video

games and watching TV cuz I was so

unhappy with my life I didn't want to

own up to it I didn't want to take any

responsibility I didn't want to be

honest with myself to change it didn't

know how to change it that I would just

escape that and for me video games was

like this fantasy world that I could

enter into and I could be whoever I want

it to be I could I could have control

over my world I could be confident good

at something and get significance from

it because I was actually one of the

better players in the game so that play

inside to get this I felt this sense of

power and confidence and significance

from that there's also a way for me to

connect with other people as well

because I didn't have people in my life

that at least like

connect with these friends that has made

online and that became my world and I

was in a very dark place my family tried

to help me but didn't know how just

maybe isolate myself even more didn't

have a good relationship with my dad I

was fighting and arguing and yelling

never good enough type of thing and

sighs I'm in this really bad place and

had suicidal thoughts at times and

thankfully grace from God is that I

discovered self development I discovered

that I could change that I can improve

myself I discovered the fact that you

know I can be and change my life to make

it the way that I want wanted to be I

could set goals I could do anything and

it just kind of gave me this hope

different possibilities that I never had

before a new vision a compelling future

it's really what it gave me so for me

you know I had an experience I hit

threshold I hit rock bottom you know and

I finally confronted everything and I

looked myself in the mirror and I said

you know what you have to change that

you can't continue living your life this

way and I made a decision that I was

never again gonna settle in my life for

less than I can be do have create or

give that I was gonna change my life and

make it the way that I want it to be and

so here I was you know I got rid all the

video games and everything you know got

rid of the TV and I redirected my focus

to changing my life to learning to

growing to whatever you know whatever it

takes through books and seminars and

coaches and all the different things and

it's been a journey that has made me who

I am today over the last 15 plus years

and I'm incredibly grateful for now for

me at that stage of my life the biggest

area that I wanted to change was my

social life because I was so shy and

insecure and has so much anxiety that I

wanted to have friends and I wanted to

have a girlfriend

you know at 17 years old that was my

main goal you know I wanted to have a

girlfriend I seen his other you know

girls in school and I was too shy to

talk to them and I would see them with

other people and I'd fantasize about

things and you know for me that was the

biggest pain point at that stage of my

life

I decide you know I got to learn this

I've got a book called double your

dating by David DeAngelo that someone

gave me online and changed my life and

read it seven times and I learned that

it's a learning skill that you can

attract the opposite sex by learning how

to become more attractive and so here it

wasn't this journey I started going out

to meet meet people and to push my

comfort zone and face my fears and that

involved going out to the malls at 17

years old or this you know the going on

the street time during the daytime and

approaching women and feast my fears and

getting rejected and and doing it again

and again and again and learning how to

improve myself my personality my

confidence my ability to joke around and

be playful and fun all these different

skills that I was trying to learn the

advice that I got the advice that I

consistently got from other people from

women from people in my life the advice

that I got was to be myself

people don't say Stefan just be yourself

be yourself Stefan you know you know if

you just be yourself these girls are

gonna like you just be yourself

everything's gonna be great in your life

and that was always the worst advice

that anyone could ever give me it's the

worst advice that you can give someone

else because if I were to have continued

to continue to be myself then I would

have continued to have been been alone I

would have continued have been shy

depressed and had anxiety been a

negative person and happy with my life

so the worst advice that I ever received

was just to be yourself you see I

believe that the better advice is that

we should be our best selves you see I

believe that all we need is already

within us that we can be do have

whatever and we just have to unleash

within us the qualities the traits the

resourcefulness we have to awaken the

sleeping giant within us to our true

potential that even though my indentity

at the time or your identity right now

might be of someone who is unhappy or

negative or depressed or whatever it

might be shy all those really are or

believe

okay your identity of who you are is

just a series of beliefs that you're

using to define yourself and they're

limiting you at the same time they're

limiting you as bullying and this is who

you are and that's what I believed about

myself and other people said just be

yourself well listen I there's a lot

more of me that's available it's more

that's available within you as well

that while I had all of those traits

they were not serving me in my life but

at the same time within me there was

someone who was confident there was

someone who was intelligent there was

someone who was resourceful someone that

can make anything happen someone that

was talkative and outgoing and social

that was already within me and I needed

to learn how to change myself or bring

out more of what was already within me

to expand myself to become more that if

I continue just to be myself and not

change or do anything that my life was

not going to change in any way shape or

form it's not until I had to be willing

to change that my life would change when

you change everything will change for

you when you change everything will

change for you and that's when I got it

man that's when I was like you know what

in order for me to become more and

discover who I really am I have to be

what I'm not I have to take on different

personalities I have to explore

different sides of myself that I never

knew was already within me I didn't know

that I had a confident outgoing social

person within me it wasn't until I had

to do things that was not normally

myself because listen other people they

perceive you as a certain way they

perceive you Stefan that's who Stefan is

definitely shy did it be yourself and

when they see you not being met they see

you start to be confident or more

talkative or take on more of a

leadership role or be more decisive or

be Chris mattock they're like oh you're

not being yourself no I'm not being what

you think that I am what you've

identified and labeled me as on

as in your mind you know I want to break

the mold of that I want to change and

that's gonna make other people feel

uncomfortable because when you start

expressing yourself and being different

sides or yourself they see that they're

afraid that they're gonna lose your

lover connection or they're gonna feel

insignificant if you actually become

more and get what you want out of life

so it's actually a way when they say

just be yourself don't try so hard

they're actually trying to suppress you

unconsciously because they love you and

they're trying to protect you and

they're trying to protect themselves and

I had to you know what for me I had to

do things that are totally different

than who I was I said step you know I

said to myself man I got to do improv

classes acting classes public speaking

classes I'm gonna do the opposite these

things scare the out of me I'm so

nervous and afraid to do them therefore

I must do them I must conquer these

fears to find out who I really am to

become more to ignite and unleash the

truest part of myself I remember doing

improv classes I was so terrified and

that I did this one I used to sign up

for these classes called acting for the

terrified and I signed up for six

sessions in advance and I'd show up I

was so terrified to do this that I went

to two classes I couldn't even get

myself in my car to drive to the third

class and I wasted that money away but I

knew that I had to continue doing that

to discover who I really was to expand

myself and you know sure enough I did I

had started becoming this different

person that was totally different than

who I was before but it was still me he

was already already within me but it

just was dormant and asleep and I had to

waken it up to ignite that side of

myself so I started doing all these

things approaching strangers and in

doing public speaking and and purposely

getting rejected and purposely failing

just so I can desensitize myself towards

that and I can learn how to be

comfortable with discomfort that can

overcome my fears of rejection and

failures I purposely failed just that I

could become the kind

person that didn't care what other

people thought in me I remember I would

model other people that had

personalities and traits I studied them

I study people that Korra's Matic and

confident and had what I wanted I try to

model their beliefs and their behaviors

and their physiology and I start to

mimic them and take on take on those

different sides of myself and and

express myself a totally different ways

that's actually one of the things I've

learned in improv classes because I

remember it scared the out of me

but our teacher would make us we play

this improv game to be like 15 students

in the class we don't have to pull out a

piece of paper from a hat and on that

piece of paper would be a name of a

celebrity that we had to act and

improvise and imitate we couldn't tell

anybody who we were but we had to put on

that persona right so I remember for me

one time I pulled a neighborhood a hat I

said Madonna so here I am a shy

terrified kid who has no social skills

or confidence and now I have to act as

if I'm Madonna and then the next one is

Michael Jackson or the next one is you

know someone totally different and I had

to learn how to express myself totally

different and be something that was

total opposite of what I was or what I

thought it was or what other people

perceive me as that's how you change

that's how you transform yourself as

when you do things that are totally

different than what you believe that you

are or what you're capable of when you

push your comfort zone massively and you

take a quantum leap and you discover wow

you know what maybe I'm more than what I

thought it was you're breaking your

limiting beliefs and patterns and you're

expanding your identity and then you're

creating an identity and a self that is

empowering and you're designing and

shaping yourself as Bruce Lee said I

take what works I discard what doesn't

and I create something uniquely my own

that's one thing Bruce Lee was most

known for he would model all the

different martial arts and take certain

pieces from it took what work was best

for minimum and discarded what did it

and he created his own unique style and

way of being and even though he got

criticized mass

leave for it you know we got criticized

by all the different martial arts

schools and and everyone said that you

know all these negative things that what

he was doing but he was able to discover

and create himself to be the best

version of himself and all of us have

that within us but it requires you

suspending your beliefs understand that

your identity of who you think you are

is not who you really are

it's basically just a series of beliefs

of how you decided who you are or other

people's projections of who you are that

you've taken on as your own beliefs and

way of being like for me when I was in

school people would always say Stefan

you're ugly you're stupid you're not

gonna amount for much and you're a loser

all these negative things and because I

didn't know who I was I didn't have my

own identity I just took on all these

beliefs and I said I guess that's who I

am I guess I am stupid I guess I am ugly

I guess I am a loser and I'm going years

of my life for a high school believing

that and believing that I'm a loser and

then I'm not good at anything and

believing that I'm ugly and so therefore

it might you know I could see definitely

why I didn't have friends and I didn't

have a girlfriend of course right

because that's that's who I was that's

who I thought I was and it was until I

decided you know what I can shape myself

I can create whatever beliefs about

myself that I want that can serve me in

my life and I started doing things that

were very different than how I was in

fact oftentimes my family I you know at

times when I was growing up in my early

twenties I didn't see my family a lot

because I actually found that I felt

that they were limiting me and I would

often oftentimes I would be around my

family I would play a certain role and

they would reinforce that role because

what's often challenging like for me

when I was around my family and I try to

like be oh going or social crazy

whatever it is playful fun they'd be

like whoa you're like what are you doing

this is not Stefan like it was so weird

for them that they would kind of try to

keep me to have certainty of like this

is who you are and I would play into

that as well and so

I actually started become this different

person that my family didn't even know

who I was because they only perceived me

as a certain way and I started going out

and doing all these crazy things and

then other people that eventually see me

after months I'm well you're a different

person like your voice has changed your

eye contact or body language your

presence you see more grounded you see

more calm more comfortable you're more

talkative right and I just was making

these incredible transformations in who

I was because I was just exposing myself

and trying so many different things

constantly pushing my comfort zone and

becoming the best version of myself is

the most important thing so that's the

lesson that I have for you guys is don't

limit yourself be careful how you define

and label yourself because I understand

that who you are like this whole I

concept this identity did doesn't even

really exist because it's like who you

think you are is only based on the past

but right now this moment you can be

whoever you want to be right like how

people know you as is just a basically a

past series of beliefs but the problem

with that is people if you continue to

find yourself based on the past or other

people define you as that person they

say oh well John John is shy or John as

this or Don is that then they're always

limiting you to become more because

they're defining you and keeping you in

that box of who they already perceive

you as right so understand that it

requires pushing your comfort zone

that's always the best way to change

yourself and that you should be making

it your goal to be the best version of

yourself I think that's way better

advice to be the best of who you can be

continue to grow continue to evolve and

stop limiting yourself based on the past

or the other people say or define or

project on to you right now is a brand

new moment and you have the choice in

this moment to be whoever you want to be

that right now in this moment today

starting from here on out you can be a

more confident person you can be more

decisive person you could be a leader

you can be a giver

you can be courageous you can be

confident you could be intelligent you

could be fun you can be silly you can be

playful you could be more loving you can

be more happy more grateful more excited

more enthusiastic more Chris mattock in

your life that you can be that right now

and it's just a choice that right now

you can decide hey you know what I'm

gonna move totally differently based on

how ever did before right I'm gonna use

my face my body language and my voice in

totally different ways I'm gonna mimic

and model other people and the moment

that I do there's no fake it to you make

it the moment you do what you're making

it it's now becoming a part of you and

that's a choice that you can make right

now in this moment you can make certain

decisions to go for it to say yes for

things a lot more than saying no instead

of having fear and doubt and worry and

being negative you can do the opposite

reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld

I'm not sure if you've ever seen that

episode it's worth watching or George

George and Jerry are talking and George

isn't happy with this life and

complaining and he's alone and it's

broke and he's got no job and then Jerry

says to him listen everything you've

been doing has got you to where you are

right now in your life but what if

instead you did the opposite you did the

opposite of everything that you thought

was right and so sure enough George

decides hey you know what in the past

I'd be too afraid and shy to go talk to

the girl but hey you know what if I did

the opposite what if I just go up to her

and so sure enough in the Moot in the TV

show he goes up to a girl at a coffee

shop and says my name is George I'm

unemployed and lives my parents total

opposite of what he did ever do and she

goes oh hi my name is Elizabeth and just

totally blows his mind and so recommend

the episode is called the opposite from

Seinfeld but what if you did the

opposite of who you are or what you

normally do the past used to afraid to

go for it hey you know what maybe the

opposite is you go for it anyways the

past II was too afraid to raise your

hands maybe they knew you raises their

hand and they take that initiative right

are the past you you know think so

though the worst of situations what if

the new you thinks of the pawza the good

hey you know what what if he just tried

it for 30 days and if you don't like it

you can always go back to being

miserable and unhappy and shy and

depressed or whatever else but I'm sure

we both know that if you actually try it

for 30 days and you actually did the

opposite or he did things you don't

normally do you're gonna come to the

realization that there's more to you

that you never knew that was there

before you come with the realization

that you're capable of so much more

and hey wow if I'm capable of this if I

can do this and they never thought I

could before then what else can I do in

my life what else can I accomplish what

else can I strive for how it's gonna

expand my myself of my life and who I am

that's when life becomes exciting that's

when there's no limits that's when

there's unlimited possibilities and

that's what I want for you so I hope my

updated advice can serve you I hope I

can inspire you to create yourself and

the life that you know is there and to

push your comfort zone because that's

the only way you grow that's the only

way that change occurs so listen if you

guys are looking for more check out my

life mastery accelerator program

it's got deeper coaching and training

with me that's a life mastery

accelerator com I'll be linked in the

description for that but if you enjoyed

this if what I shared resonated with you

hit the thumbs up button subscribe for

more videos leave a comment below let me

know what you think and I look forward

to serving you again soon god bless take

care

you

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