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Thursday, May 7, 2020

THE WORST ADVICE EVER! 🤦 #Best Education Page #Online Earning

THE WORST ADVICE EVER! 🤦



hey guys so recently someone asked me
the question what's the worst advice
that anyone's ever given you and I want
to share with you what this is because I
have a feeling that some of you might
have also received this bad advice from
other people and that some of you might
also be giving this bad advice to other
people as well
and I want to make sure that that stops
today
so let me show you guys a story in
context about how I first received this
advice I used to be the opposite of Who
I am and how I am today most of you
already know my story but back when I
was in high school I used to be very shy
I dealt with a lot of depression I got
bullied a lot went to three different
high schools had a lot of social anxiety
I remember I used to skip a lot of
school because I show up to school I get
picked on or I show up and the teacher
would ask me a question for me everyone
in the class and my face would turn red
and I started sweating and shaking and I
tried to figure a way to go to the
bathroom or trying to get out of there
or the teacher would ask me to give a
presentation in front of class and I so
terrified of the thought of that that
I'd rather skip class and take the zero
then actually showing up and doing it so
I barely graduated high school I was
always a c-minus student always just
trying to find a way to get by hated
school hated my life hated myself didn't
have very many friends it was a very
negative person wanted a girlfriend but
knew that wasn't gonna happen my way of
escaping all of that was through video
games and watching TV cuz I was so
unhappy with my life I didn't want to
own up to it I didn't want to take any
responsibility I didn't want to be
honest with myself to change it didn't
know how to change it that I would just
escape that and for me video games was
like this fantasy world that I could
enter into and I could be whoever I want
it to be I could I could have control
over my world I could be confident good
at something and get significance from
it because I was actually one of the
better players in the game so that play
inside to get this I felt this sense of
power and confidence and significance
from that there's also a way for me to
connect with other people as well
because I didn't have people in my life
that at least like
connect with these friends that has made
online and that became my world and I
was in a very dark place my family tried
to help me but didn't know how just
maybe isolate myself even more didn't
have a good relationship with my dad I
was fighting and arguing and yelling
never good enough type of thing and
sighs I'm in this really bad place and
had suicidal thoughts at times and
thankfully grace from God is that I
discovered self development I discovered
that I could change that I can improve
myself I discovered the fact that you
know I can be and change my life to make
it the way that I want wanted to be I
could set goals I could do anything and
it just kind of gave me this hope
different possibilities that I never had
before a new vision a compelling future
it's really what it gave me so for me
you know I had an experience I hit
threshold I hit rock bottom you know and
I finally confronted everything and I
looked myself in the mirror and I said
you know what you have to change that
you can't continue living your life this
way and I made a decision that I was
never again gonna settle in my life for
less than I can be do have create or
give that I was gonna change my life and
make it the way that I want it to be and
so here I was you know I got rid all the
video games and everything you know got
rid of the TV and I redirected my focus
to changing my life to learning to
growing to whatever you know whatever it
takes through books and seminars and
coaches and all the different things and
it's been a journey that has made me who
I am today over the last 15 plus years
and I'm incredibly grateful for now for
me at that stage of my life the biggest
area that I wanted to change was my
social life because I was so shy and
insecure and has so much anxiety that I
wanted to have friends and I wanted to
have a girlfriend
you know at 17 years old that was my
main goal you know I wanted to have a
girlfriend I seen his other you know
girls in school and I was too shy to
talk to them and I would see them with
other people and I'd fantasize about
things and you know for me that was the
biggest pain point at that stage of my
life
I decide you know I got to learn this
I've got a book called double your
dating by David DeAngelo that someone
gave me online and changed my life and
read it seven times and I learned that
it's a learning skill that you can
attract the opposite sex by learning how
to become more attractive and so here it
wasn't this journey I started going out
to meet meet people and to push my
comfort zone and face my fears and that
involved going out to the malls at 17
years old or this you know the going on
the street time during the daytime and
approaching women and feast my fears and
getting rejected and and doing it again
and again and again and learning how to
improve myself my personality my
confidence my ability to joke around and
be playful and fun all these different
skills that I was trying to learn the
advice that I got the advice that I
consistently got from other people from
women from people in my life the advice
that I got was to be myself
people don't say Stefan just be yourself
be yourself Stefan you know you know if
you just be yourself these girls are
gonna like you just be yourself
everything's gonna be great in your life
and that was always the worst advice
that anyone could ever give me it's the
worst advice that you can give someone
else because if I were to have continued
to continue to be myself then I would
have continued to have been been alone I
would have continued have been shy
depressed and had anxiety been a
negative person and happy with my life
so the worst advice that I ever received
was just to be yourself you see I
believe that the better advice is that
we should be our best selves you see I
believe that all we need is already
within us that we can be do have
whatever and we just have to unleash
within us the qualities the traits the
resourcefulness we have to awaken the
sleeping giant within us to our true
potential that even though my indentity
at the time or your identity right now
might be of someone who is unhappy or
negative or depressed or whatever it
might be shy all those really are or
believe
okay your identity of who you are is
just a series of beliefs that you're
using to define yourself and they're
limiting you at the same time they're
limiting you as bullying and this is who
you are and that's what I believed about
myself and other people said just be
yourself well listen I there's a lot
more of me that's available it's more
that's available within you as well
that while I had all of those traits
they were not serving me in my life but
at the same time within me there was
someone who was confident there was
someone who was intelligent there was
someone who was resourceful someone that
can make anything happen someone that
was talkative and outgoing and social
that was already within me and I needed
to learn how to change myself or bring
out more of what was already within me
to expand myself to become more that if
I continue just to be myself and not
change or do anything that my life was
not going to change in any way shape or
form it's not until I had to be willing
to change that my life would change when
you change everything will change for
you when you change everything will
change for you and that's when I got it
man that's when I was like you know what
in order for me to become more and
discover who I really am I have to be
what I'm not I have to take on different
personalities I have to explore
different sides of myself that I never
knew was already within me I didn't know
that I had a confident outgoing social
person within me it wasn't until I had
to do things that was not normally
myself because listen other people they
perceive you as a certain way they
perceive you Stefan that's who Stefan is
definitely shy did it be yourself and
when they see you not being met they see
you start to be confident or more
talkative or take on more of a
leadership role or be more decisive or
be Chris mattock they're like oh you're
not being yourself no I'm not being what
you think that I am what you've
identified and labeled me as on
as in your mind you know I want to break
the mold of that I want to change and
that's gonna make other people feel
uncomfortable because when you start
expressing yourself and being different
sides or yourself they see that they're
afraid that they're gonna lose your
lover connection or they're gonna feel
insignificant if you actually become
more and get what you want out of life
so it's actually a way when they say
just be yourself don't try so hard
they're actually trying to suppress you
unconsciously because they love you and
they're trying to protect you and
they're trying to protect themselves and
I had to you know what for me I had to
do things that are totally different
than who I was I said step you know I
said to myself man I got to do improv
classes acting classes public speaking
classes I'm gonna do the opposite these
things scare the out of me I'm so
nervous and afraid to do them therefore
I must do them I must conquer these
fears to find out who I really am to
become more to ignite and unleash the
truest part of myself I remember doing
improv classes I was so terrified and
that I did this one I used to sign up
for these classes called acting for the
terrified and I signed up for six
sessions in advance and I'd show up I
was so terrified to do this that I went
to two classes I couldn't even get
myself in my car to drive to the third
class and I wasted that money away but I
knew that I had to continue doing that
to discover who I really was to expand
myself and you know sure enough I did I
had started becoming this different
person that was totally different than
who I was before but it was still me he
was already already within me but it
just was dormant and asleep and I had to
waken it up to ignite that side of
myself so I started doing all these
things approaching strangers and in
doing public speaking and and purposely
getting rejected and purposely failing
just so I can desensitize myself towards
that and I can learn how to be
comfortable with discomfort that can
overcome my fears of rejection and
failures I purposely failed just that I
could become the kind
person that didn't care what other
people thought in me I remember I would
model other people that had
personalities and traits I studied them
I study people that Korra's Matic and
confident and had what I wanted I try to
model their beliefs and their behaviors
and their physiology and I start to
mimic them and take on take on those
different sides of myself and and
express myself a totally different ways
that's actually one of the things I've
learned in improv classes because I
remember it scared the out of me
but our teacher would make us we play
this improv game to be like 15 students
in the class we don't have to pull out a
piece of paper from a hat and on that
piece of paper would be a name of a
celebrity that we had to act and
improvise and imitate we couldn't tell
anybody who we were but we had to put on
that persona right so I remember for me
one time I pulled a neighborhood a hat I
said Madonna so here I am a shy
terrified kid who has no social skills
or confidence and now I have to act as
if I'm Madonna and then the next one is
Michael Jackson or the next one is you
know someone totally different and I had
to learn how to express myself totally
different and be something that was
total opposite of what I was or what I
thought it was or what other people
perceive me as that's how you change
that's how you transform yourself as
when you do things that are totally
different than what you believe that you
are or what you're capable of when you
push your comfort zone massively and you
take a quantum leap and you discover wow
you know what maybe I'm more than what I
thought it was you're breaking your
limiting beliefs and patterns and you're
expanding your identity and then you're
creating an identity and a self that is
empowering and you're designing and
shaping yourself as Bruce Lee said I
take what works I discard what doesn't
and I create something uniquely my own
that's one thing Bruce Lee was most
known for he would model all the
different martial arts and take certain
pieces from it took what work was best
for minimum and discarded what did it
and he created his own unique style and
way of being and even though he got
criticized mass
leave for it you know we got criticized
by all the different martial arts
schools and and everyone said that you
know all these negative things that what
he was doing but he was able to discover
and create himself to be the best
version of himself and all of us have
that within us but it requires you
suspending your beliefs understand that
your identity of who you think you are
is not who you really are
it's basically just a series of beliefs
of how you decided who you are or other
people's projections of who you are that
you've taken on as your own beliefs and
way of being like for me when I was in
school people would always say Stefan
you're ugly you're stupid you're not
gonna amount for much and you're a loser
all these negative things and because I
didn't know who I was I didn't have my
own identity I just took on all these
beliefs and I said I guess that's who I
am I guess I am stupid I guess I am ugly
I guess I am a loser and I'm going years
of my life for a high school believing
that and believing that I'm a loser and
then I'm not good at anything and
believing that I'm ugly and so therefore
it might you know I could see definitely
why I didn't have friends and I didn't
have a girlfriend of course right
because that's that's who I was that's
who I thought I was and it was until I
decided you know what I can shape myself
I can create whatever beliefs about
myself that I want that can serve me in
my life and I started doing things that
were very different than how I was in
fact oftentimes my family I you know at
times when I was growing up in my early
twenties I didn't see my family a lot
because I actually found that I felt
that they were limiting me and I would
often oftentimes I would be around my
family I would play a certain role and
they would reinforce that role because
what's often challenging like for me
when I was around my family and I try to
like be oh going or social crazy
whatever it is playful fun they'd be
like whoa you're like what are you doing
this is not Stefan like it was so weird
for them that they would kind of try to
keep me to have certainty of like this
is who you are and I would play into
that as well and so
I actually started become this different
person that my family didn't even know
who I was because they only perceived me
as a certain way and I started going out
and doing all these crazy things and
then other people that eventually see me
after months I'm well you're a different
person like your voice has changed your
eye contact or body language your
presence you see more grounded you see
more calm more comfortable you're more
talkative right and I just was making
these incredible transformations in who
I was because I was just exposing myself
and trying so many different things
constantly pushing my comfort zone and
becoming the best version of myself is
the most important thing so that's the
lesson that I have for you guys is don't
limit yourself be careful how you define
and label yourself because I understand
that who you are like this whole I
concept this identity did doesn't even
really exist because it's like who you
think you are is only based on the past
but right now this moment you can be
whoever you want to be right like how
people know you as is just a basically a
past series of beliefs but the problem
with that is people if you continue to
find yourself based on the past or other
people define you as that person they
say oh well John John is shy or John as
this or Don is that then they're always
limiting you to become more because
they're defining you and keeping you in
that box of who they already perceive
you as right so understand that it
requires pushing your comfort zone
that's always the best way to change
yourself and that you should be making
it your goal to be the best version of
yourself I think that's way better
advice to be the best of who you can be
continue to grow continue to evolve and
stop limiting yourself based on the past
or the other people say or define or
project on to you right now is a brand
new moment and you have the choice in
this moment to be whoever you want to be
that right now in this moment today
starting from here on out you can be a
more confident person you can be more
decisive person you could be a leader
you can be a giver
you can be courageous you can be
confident you could be intelligent you
could be fun you can be silly you can be
playful you could be more loving you can
be more happy more grateful more excited
more enthusiastic more Chris mattock in
your life that you can be that right now
and it's just a choice that right now
you can decide hey you know what I'm
gonna move totally differently based on
how ever did before right I'm gonna use
my face my body language and my voice in
totally different ways I'm gonna mimic
and model other people and the moment
that I do there's no fake it to you make
it the moment you do what you're making
it it's now becoming a part of you and
that's a choice that you can make right
now in this moment you can make certain
decisions to go for it to say yes for
things a lot more than saying no instead
of having fear and doubt and worry and
being negative you can do the opposite
reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld
I'm not sure if you've ever seen that
episode it's worth watching or George
George and Jerry are talking and George
isn't happy with this life and
complaining and he's alone and it's
broke and he's got no job and then Jerry
says to him listen everything you've
been doing has got you to where you are
right now in your life but what if
instead you did the opposite you did the
opposite of everything that you thought
was right and so sure enough George
decides hey you know what in the past
I'd be too afraid and shy to go talk to
the girl but hey you know what if I did
the opposite what if I just go up to her
and so sure enough in the Moot in the TV
show he goes up to a girl at a coffee
shop and says my name is George I'm
unemployed and lives my parents total
opposite of what he did ever do and she
goes oh hi my name is Elizabeth and just
totally blows his mind and so recommend
the episode is called the opposite from
Seinfeld but what if you did the
opposite of who you are or what you
normally do the past used to afraid to
go for it hey you know what maybe the
opposite is you go for it anyways the
past II was too afraid to raise your
hands maybe they knew you raises their
hand and they take that initiative right
are the past you you know think so
though the worst of situations what if
the new you thinks of the pawza the good
hey you know what what if he just tried
it for 30 days and if you don't like it
you can always go back to being
miserable and unhappy and shy and
depressed or whatever else but I'm sure
we both know that if you actually try it
for 30 days and you actually did the
opposite or he did things you don't
normally do you're gonna come to the
realization that there's more to you
that you never knew that was there
before you come with the realization
that you're capable of so much more
and hey wow if I'm capable of this if I
can do this and they never thought I
could before then what else can I do in
my life what else can I accomplish what
else can I strive for how it's gonna
expand my myself of my life and who I am
that's when life becomes exciting that's
when there's no limits that's when
there's unlimited possibilities and
that's what I want for you so I hope my
updated advice can serve you I hope I
can inspire you to create yourself and
the life that you know is there and to
push your comfort zone because that's
the only way you grow that's the only
way that change occurs so listen if you
guys are looking for more check out my
life mastery accelerator program
it's got deeper coaching and training
with me that's a life mastery
accelerator com I'll be linked in the
description for that but if you enjoyed
this if what I shared resonated with you
hit the thumbs up button subscribe for
more videos leave a comment below let me
know what you think and I look forward
to serving you again soon god bless take
care
you

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