hey guys Stephanie err from
projectlifemastery.com coming to you
from Paris France answering some of your
received was how do you deal with
criticism and negativity and I feel like
this is a subject that I know a lot
about because I faced a lot of this in
my lifetime you know I don't know if you
guys have heard from some previous
videos that have released but I used to
be very shy very introverted you know
back when I was in high school I was
essentially a computer nerd and skipped
a lot of school and just spent you know
hours and hours everyday just in front
of the computer playing video games
isolating myself from the world and I
didn't have a lot of friends and you
know when I was about you know 17 years
old I decided to get into
self-development and really changed
myself and changed my life but I feel
like in many ways you know when I was
very shy and quiet I I was that way
because I was afraid of what people
thought of me I was afraid of being
judged I was afraid that if I said
anything or spoke my mind then people
would make fun of me and I didn't have a
lot of conviction and who I was and what
I said and so you know funny enough when
you're very shy and quiet or a very
insecure you become almost like a target
for people to pick on and make fun of
even more because you know people just
kind of see me as an opportunity to
elevate their status because by then
putting me down they would just project
themselves and elevate their status and
be able to build themselves up from that
so when I was 17 I got into
self-development and I really made
decisions to really change who I was and
you know back when you're 17 really the
only goals that you really have at that
stage your life is just to have a
girlfriend or to be popular or cool or
something like that and you know so I
got really into this dating community
and I did everything that I could to
build my confidence and build who I was
and one of the ways that I did that was
just by going out and meeting people
going out and meeting women and I'd
approach women just on the street or go
to nightclubs totally sober and you know
it was very challenging for me because I
had to face a lot of fears but I feel
like that one of the best ways to
overcome that criticism or that
negativity is just to become immune to
it because the more
you put yourself in those situations the
more you just learn not to care to not
be affected by it in any way you know I
remember going out you know meeting
people in dating you have to go through
a lot of criticism a lot of rejection
people that aren't interested in you
people that are judging you people that
you know might tell you to off or
they have a boyfriend or leave me alone
or they're just having a bad day and
they're taking it out on you and you
know in that sort of way and I think the
more that you expose yourself to that
like I said the more comfortable that
you become with it it's almost like
you're becoming comfortable with
discomfort and you just desensitize
yourself towards all of that stuff I
remember doing acting classes and improv
classes and public speaking classes and
just being terrified to do it knowing
that people were judging me and making
fun of me
but and I was just essentially
embarrassing myself but I knew that by
going through it I've become a better
person and would just become immune to
that sort of stuff and I think people
that you know if you look at
professional athletes or celebrities
these are people that have more
criticism than anyone else out there you
know people are you know writing up
about them in the newspapers and the TV
tabloids they're getting flamed on
Twitter and various places on the
internet all the time and they just
become immune to it they just learned
how to not be affected or faced by it
and in any way and I think by the more
that you face that sort of stuff you
just like I said just learn to phase it
all out and not be affected by it so I
think that's a really important thing
it's just learning how to not be
affected by it and the more that you
face it the more of it that you go
through the more that you learn that it
just doesn't really even matter to you
in any way
I think another piece as well my second
tip is learning how to become more
confident and secure and who you are
like I said before I didn't really know
who I was before I didn't have a lot of
belief in who I was and as a result of
this you know when you're young people
would make fun of me and they would say
things like you're a loser
during gig you're ugly you know things
like that because I didn't know who I
was or have any belief in who I was I
would just take on the beliefs of other
people and so if someone said to me
I was a loser I would just say to myself
okay I guess I am a loser I don't really
know what else I am I guess I am
whatever people say that I am so I took
on a lot of these beliefs from other
people because I didn't have a lot of
beliefs in myself and it got to a point
in my life where I realized you know
what no one gets to decide who I am but
me no one else gets to decide my beliefs
I could have decide whoever I want to be
and whether that's confident or social
or fun or whatever that is I'm that just
I'm the one that gets to dictate my
future and Who I am nobody else and when
you have those strong beliefs and
convictions and who you are then if
someone comes along and says that you're
this Revere that then you're unaffected
by it because you know who you are and
you have those strong pillars of belief
that you're secure in and no one can
rattle you from that so I think when you
develop that confidence in yourself that
security that's even a more powerful way
a powerful foundation that you have
where criticism just doesn't affect you
are Phase II because of that I think
another thing too is understanding and
when people criticize you or try to put
you down I understand that it has
nothing to do with you it's always
something to do with the other person
because somebody that's loving their
life that's happy that's a filled they
have no reason to be negative towards
other people they have no reason at all
to be able to put other people down or
say negative things they're only saying
it because they're unhappy with
themselves they're in a bad state
they're having a bad day or they're
insecure or they feel insignificant in
some sort of way or they feel jealous in
some sort of way and so you know they
feel like they have to put someone else
down so that they can feel better about
themselves and like I said someone
that's truly happy fulfilled loving
their life that's totally secure and
confident in who they are and happy has
no reason to put other people down or
being negative to other people and so
it's always a reflection of the other
person the state that they're in who
they are their beliefs you know just the
place that they're in right now in their
life you know I know a lot of ways you
know people
line you know people can flame people
anonymously in that sort of way and it's
kind of sad and disappointing because I
feel a lot of sympathy for people that
do Cigna give things or dislike videos
or you know write negative comments and
things like that because I I'm my life
is great you know I'm loved in my life
I'm traveling the world I've got a great
relationship I'm doing great in so many
different ways you know when someone
else says something negative about me he
doesn't really affect me that much
because my life's great and I feel sorry
for that person because I feel like
they're suffering in some way in their
life they're not happy they're not
really you know getting to experience
the life that they want to experience
and I just kind of feel sad for them and
a little bit sorry for them in those
sort of ways because like I said they
wouldn't have any reason to put other
people down if they were living such a
great life and so you know you have to
understand a lot of these people you
know maybe they're having a bad day
maybe their wife left them maybe they
have cancer they're sick and they see
someone else that's living a great life
that's happy that's fulfilled and the
only way they can feel better about
themselves is just by putting them down
and the thing is it only makes them feel
good about themselves just for a moment
but it never leads to fulfillment you
know there's a difference between
pleasure and fulfillment pleasure you
might get just in a moment but it
doesn't last we're still fulfilment is
something that is lasting so ultimately
I think you know developing yourself and
facing the criticism the rejection the
negativity and just kind of reframing it
just understanding it has nothing to do
with you those are the ultimate ways to
overcome criticism and that negativity
and this allow yourself to keep going
and moving forward because that's the
most important thing is not let that
stuff stop you or affect you in any way
just keep moving forward with your life
and your goals your dreams our desires
everything that you want to accomplish
and you'll be totally fine thank you for
watching this video I'll see you in the
next one
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